Welcome to Counseling Services Direct for Marriage and Family Therapy. Sobriety is related to relationship wellness from the standpoint that any substance or behavior that alters consciousness impacts perception and interactions with others in the environment. Sobriety is a necessary component to a functional well balanced relationship; it assumes a state of awareness that encourages one to be present.
Engaging in behaviors that alter a mind that is present will tend to encourage disproportional excess; such as excessive alcohol use, excessive substance use, sexual addiction, and over-spending, which is an example of the many different ways that individuals keep themselves from being sober and present in their relationships. This is also referred to as using exits in relationships; individuals do this in romantic partnerships as well as with family members. Exits are initially conscious ways to escape from directly interfacing with ones environment and then become unconscious reactions.
The individual adapts patterns that maintain the status quo regardless of the long term negative effects; the primary concern is avoiding. Therefore, recognizing and resolving the use of exits or any other form of avoidance will increases the possibility for sobriety and relationships wellness. I would like to encourage you to reflect more upon this subject matter and ask you to consider the following ways to help become less avoidant and more present in all of your relationships.
- Move away from automatized responses to the relationships in your environment and engage in conscious effortful behaviors. (Ex: practice mindfulness and focus on appraising your situation in the present to engage in problem focused coping and regulating distress).
- Practice stress management to adapt to external environmental demands. (Ex: focus on the triggers that promote emotional, and behavioral distress by assessing the situation and learning the skills to effectively handle the relationship).
The previous list of techniques are important to provide you with the foundation to help you to have healthy relationships for both couples and families. I hope this information has been helpful and has awakened your awareness of the value they hold in providing a strong foundation for the health of your relationships.
“Encouraging growth to improve and sustain positive relationships”
Contact us at Counseling Services Direct for Marriage Counseling and Family Therapy and get started today: (O) 516-484-2829 or (C) 914-960-2723.
Stacey Chernin, M.A., LMFT, CFT
References: Monat, A. & Lazarus, R. (1991). Stress and Coping. An Anthology. Columbia University Press. New York.